Bag of Mail

The WAC's Letter To the BCS



Full letter here. The opening:

Buried in the details surrounding the BCS contract extension signed by the Mountain West and the WAC was this nugget in an Idaho newspaper: "The conference (WAC) will attach a letter 'that will lay out the concerns we have and basically express our strong objection to the current BCS structure,' Boise State president Bob Kustra said."

Yep, a bona fide letter. (Possible illustration, right). Thanks to the tremendous connections of the ClayNation column in conjunction with the awe-inspiring power of FanHouse, and the action news team that, er, located Gene Chizik's inaugural address to Auburn, we were able to artfully re-create this letter below:

"Dear BCS,

You are so wack. (The bad wack not the good WAC!) We hate you. Every single one of us. From Louisiana Tech (yes, that is an actual school) to Hawaii, every single person who has ever graduated from our football programs, all 28 of them, hate you. Or as the players say, "H8 u!!111"

We hate your pointy shoes, and your paltry money, and your BCS standings that are so complicated the rules might as well read, "Minus-488 points for not being in a Big Six conference." We hate the smugness of the Big Six, like those programs are all legitimate powerhouses. Have you been to Starkville, Mississippi? It makes Logan, Utah look like Beverly Hills. That's in California. You know, the same state where we have the 18th best football team in the Silicon Valley. (Not counting high schools.) San Jose State, baby. And San Jose State is loaded, baby.

You want millions.

They got 50 of them.

Yep, their entire endowment is $50 million dollars. Put it in a stack of singles and it would reach to Jupiter. Then, if we wanted to, we could push the stack over and it would make it rain all the way to Boise. Fifty millions, that's almost as much as Alabama makes from football each year, son. In the whole university.

And we've got a blue field. Do you have a blue field? Do you know how much technology that takes? I'll tell you, all the technology in Louisiana. That's why we brought in Louisiana Tech. Because, let's be clear, when you think, "Scientific revolution," you think, "Louisiana."

Read the rest here. I think it gets better.

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Posted by Clay Travis at 11:01 AM 0 comments


 
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