Beaver Pelt Trader of the Week: Canadian Book Reviews?
Friday, December 26, 2008
Mindy writes:
Hi Clay- I normally don't forward stuff like this, but I thought this was pretty funny- you may have already seen it. It's a video on You Tube from a former University of Michigan fan who auctioned his loyalty off to the highest bidder eBay. The high bidder got pick his new team, and the winner was Ole Miss ($301).
As part of the deal, he had to make a video of himself destroying his Michigan items and declaring his loyalty to the new team.
Hotty Toddy!
Was I the only person watching this video who wanted this Michigan fan to go with the face hidden in the elbow crook like he was posing for an adult friend finder ad instead of the video cutting off his face? Also, $301? This is all it took to sway a fan? This Michigan fan is literally being paid less than a penny per hour for his life of fandom. In other words there's nothing that he couldn't have done that would have been more profitable. He could have moved to Cambodia and worked those hours in a rice field, become a pimp in Zimbabwe; you name it and there isn't anything he couldn't have done that made less sense.
Also, I love the Grove as much as the next person--and I'll be at Ole Miss-Tennessee in November of 2009--but Ole Miss last won an SEC Title in 1963. This might turn out to be a difficult transition considering Michigan won a half-dozen Big Ten titles under Lloyd Carr-- a coach they ran out of town. Now if this guy is single and the Ole Miss sorority girls are impressed by his fan-auction on eBay (and honestly how couldn't they be?) then this might still pan out okay for him. Otherwise this is going to be a rough transition, really rough. Although nowhere near as bad as if some fan from Eastern Michigan had made the purchase. Imagine rooting for a team just a few miles away from Michigan that comes into the Big House every few years and gets trounced. So you've only moved about eight miles in fandom but the result is a world different. Worst of all, you're not getting to travel south and immerse yourself in hot women when it starts to get cold in Michigan. Instead you're rooting for a team that never wins the MAC and plays in front of about 10,000 people. This would have been a much better irony.
As a result of the Ole Miss video going up top we've got a beaver pelt trader of the week that appears inside the column. Young Adolf Hitler Campbell. Yep, that's his real name.
As nominated by reader Brian Davis,
Hey Clay,
Here is a Beaver Pelt candidate I'd like to nominate.
Hes 3 years old and his name is (100% serious) Adolf Hitler Campbell of Easton, PA.
With the name that "Deborah and Heath" Campbell gave him, you know for a fact that a) he is going to have one tough upbringing and b) he is going to need a little self-esteem boost and the BEAVER PELT can be the first step in that direction.
What if his name was A'dolf? Or even more amazing if you went with the > < sign in the middle. Something like A'dolf < Obama. Honestly this article is amazing. Basically a 3 year old kid tried to get a cake for his birthday party only the supermarket refused to put his name on the cake. So where did they go to get their cake? Wal Mart.
You've got to read this article. Everything about it is incredible. My favorite paragraphs come at the end:
Heath Campbell said he named his son after Adolf Hitler because he liked the name and because "no one else in the world would have that name."
The Campbells' two other children are named JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell, who turns 2 in a few months, and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell, who will be 1 in April.
Campbell said he was raised not to avoid people of other races but not to mix with them socially or romantically. But he said he would try to raise his children differently.
"Say he grows up and hangs out with black people. That's fine, I don't really care," he said. "That's his choice."
He said about 12 people attended the birthday party Sunday, including several children of mixed race.
Does anyone want to call bullshit on "several children of mixed race" business. Only twelve people went. And two of more of them were mixed race kids at Adolf Hitler Campbell's party? I'm finding this a little hard to believe.
Anyway, I'm with Brian Davis, this kid needs to win something. And now.
Brian McGee writes:
Ok, here’s an idea for you and I think your group of followers would be perfect for this “prank.” Since Amazon has decided to go ahead and announce the sale of your book how funny would it be if your readers went ahead and posted “reviews” of the book? What do you think?
This is not a bad idea, but it was Amazon Canada that is already selling On Rocky Top. I'm not sure if American Amazon customers can review products on Amazon Canada. Maybe they can. After all strippers in Canada take American dollars or Canadian loons. By the transitive property Amazon Canada should take American book reviews.
Someone make a play here and see if you can get the review posted. It will probably make you an early favorite for beaver pelt trader of the week. Although, to be honest, asking for reviews of a book that is still in an incomplete word file on my computer (currently clocking in at 295 pages) is a little intimidating. Like a very powerful self-jinx.
Travis has become enamored of several objects, phrases or events which he frequenly references in the column. Among the most frequent:
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