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Bag of Mail

Honeymoon Ends With Hot Bride Holding Turkey


Monday, April 20, 2009


Get married in Jamaica, check. Get back from Jamaica and go turkey hunting? Check. Kill a turkey and pose with it in your wedding dress while wearing a camo hat? Only in Tennessee. Or every other Southern state. But this time in Tennessee. The camo hat really needed to be for an SEC team.

After getting off the plane from Jamaica in Atlanta the couple didn't even take the time to knock the sand from their shoes. They got in their car - where they had stashed guns, calls and camo - and drove to AEDC Wildlife Management Area. They slept in the car, then at daylight started hunting.

It wasn't long before Bruce got a turkey to gobble. They put a decoy out and about 10 minutes after that Rene had a 17-pound jake with a 4-inch beard on the ground.

"Bruce would call and it would gobble and to be able to experience that was great," she said. "Bruce was telling me to move a little this way and stuff and then I saw it coming in."

The turkey never knew the newlyweds were in the woods.

"She was so excited she teared up," Bruce said.

Rene also lived up to a bargain they had made with the folks they had met in Jamaica: Since her wedding dress was already in the car, if she killed a turkey she would put it back on and pose for a picture.


I think it's the thigh that makes the shot. Because I'm picturing the husband taking the first shot, looking at his digital camera, and thinking, "Not sexy enough. I need some thigh."

Speaking of which, be honest, when you were young and went to a wedding, one of the most awkwardly erotic moments of your pre-adolescent life, excluding Princess Leia sitting on Jabba the Hutt's lap in the gold-slave bikini, was when the garter belt got taken off the bride. Which hornball came up with this tradition? And how has it lasted? It was like a pre-internet peep show.

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