All That and a Bag of Mail: BGID Meets 'Bama Bangs
Friday, November 7, 2008
My worlds have collided. Courtesy of reader Julie Hacker came the above picture.
Here was her email:
Hey Clay!
I’m a big fan of yours and enjoy everything you write.
Wanted to share this fantastic combo of Bama Bangs and BGID. Spotted at the Crow’s Nest last night. Clearly he is thrilled with my need to take a photo.
Enjoy and have a good weekend!
Honestly, I don't know what to say. I mean, of course, in theory, I knew that the beard could be combined with 'Bama Bangs. There's nothing to stop it, but it's like matter and anti-matter colliding on this guy's face. The beard says, "You want to sleep with me right now," but the 'Bama Bangs say, "After a nice cuddle and spooning." Except in Alabama where this guy is officially a walking sex machine. Seriously, he should be illegal. If you're married, have a faithful wife, and live in Alabama and your wife has ever seen this man, you're raising his children. We need to know who this guy is. (Note: There is a 100% chance this is what Brodie Croyle looks like right now. With his latest injury he's like Vince after Medellin bombed. Sitting somewhere in the backwoods of Alabama, bangs grown, and rocking the unkempt beard. Just hope your wife doesn't ever see him either.)
Adam Potts writes:
While the Vols are looking for a new coach, UK has moved past apostrophes to the dash...
GO CATS!
Ad-am, Chicago
For those of you who didn't click on the link, Kentucky has offered a scholarship to a football player named, and I'm not making this up, Tai-ler Jones. He's a 2010 wide receiver from Gainesville, Georgia. I have no idea why he needs the dash. But I know I'm not alone in praying that his name be pronounced Taidashler.
Jordan Richardson writes:
Clay,
I'm not sure why LSU has such a strong connection with making it rain, but here is a link to their "first ever Rainmakers Gala." There is even a list of rainmakers in the article. Adam Jones is not on the list.
My God, that photo gallery is gold. Here's a sample.
Odds that guy in the lower left corner with the white beard just followed up the red head's, "Boy, this is a long night," statement by saying, "That's what she said." Also, why is the guy on the right dancing with a computer mouse? Does this make it rain faster? Is this a new move I haven't learned yet? Finally, top right with the mustache, he likes to pee on women. You see that too, right? It's not just me.
More mailbag later today. Including our beaver pelt trader of the week. Until then, amuse yourselves with John Parker Wilson's cell phone number being released to LSU fans. I've written about it here. Labels: BGID Bama Bangs meet
Posted by Clay Travis at 11:47 AM
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Travis has become enamored of several objects, phrases or events which he frequenly references in the column. Among the most frequent:
'Bama Bangs - a term coined by Travis to refer to southern men's hairstyles that feature prominent bangs for no apparent reason. Brodie Croyle and John Parker Wilson are oft-cited violators of 'Bama Bangs rules.
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The newly favored man is not really a man at all, but a hairless, effeminate, germ-fearing, non-meat-eating, exfoliating, wristband-wearing woman of the worst order. We as men are told that we must embrace the sacred feminine in ourselves, even if it doesn't actually exist, and become the very quintessence of woman, plus penises. This situation is untenable. This trend must stop.
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