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ClayNation Starting 11: Erin Andrews Wrecks Ryan Mallett's Street Cred



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It figures, Thanksgiving weekend brought us some of the most compelling football of the season. Only, like me, you probably found yourself tied up in obligations during big games on Thursday, Friday, or Saturday. Perhaps, poor you, all three days. Instead of lamenting the games we all missed, let's get the Starting 11 off and rolling with this question: In the wake of their 39-point implosion against Texas A&M, is Texas's defense national championship caliber?

I think the answer is no. And, for a change, I'm actually going to back up this opinion with some numbers. Beginning with this one, in the BCS era, no national champion has given up more than 34 points in regulation and gone on to win the BCS title. What team was that? LSU in 2007. That same season LSU also gave up 50 to Arkansas and 43 to Kentucky but both of those totals came in three overtime games.

And that begs the true question, can Texas really hold up to either Alabama or Florida in the BCS title game? I think the answer is no. In fact, I will guarantee you that Florida would open as at least a touchdown favorite over the Longhorns. I'll also guarantee you that Texas is going to lose to either Alabama or Florida and that they won't score more than 21 points in the game. Dive in for the rest of the ClayNation Starting 11.

1. Erin Andrews humiliates Arkansas's Ryan Mallett and then LSU wins in overtime to toss salt in Hog wounds.

ESPN cuts to Andrews as Arkansas takes possession in overtime. Andrews talks about the recent celebration on the Arkansas sideline after the touchdown on fourth-and-9 and says Mallett turned to her and said, "I told you so!"

Then Andrews says, "I don't know why he's telling me that, I haven't talked to him all week."

Which makes me wonder, how many college football players contact Erin Andrews every week? And how entertaining would those texts be to see?

2. Toby Gerhart's Midwestern incisors deserve the Heisman if Kellen Moore doesn't get it.

Someone tweeted to me that Gerhart looks like Corky. I don't think that's fair, but Gerhart does have a trait that I've noted but never put into word: Midwestern incisors.

You know, the gargantuan incisors that so many people from Michigan, Minnesota and Wisconsin seem to have. They're the Bama Bangs of the Big Ten.

I'm not sure where in Europe the genetic code for large incisors comes from, but Gerhart has it. So does the midwest.

3. BYU's Max Hall had the quote you wish your quarterback would have about a hated rival after he beat Utah in overtime:

"I don't like Utah. In fact, I hate them. I hate everything about them. I hate their program, their fans."

Am I the only person that had a flashback to Big Love? That's exactly what Sarah Henrickson would say about the Grants if she was quoted in the newspaper after the latest family kerfuffle.

Also, I'm ashamed to admit that 99 percent of my knowledge about the state of Utah comes from Big Love. It's the second best drama in television behind Friday Night Lights.
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4. Ho hum, Boise State's Kellen Moore threw for five touchdown passes.

He has 41 touchdowns and continues to lead the country in passing efficiency. He's attempted 362 passes this season and just three of them have been picked off.

That's also, you guessed it, the lowest interception percentage in the country. That's paired with, you guessed it, the highest rate of touchdowns per pass attempt -- fully 11percent of Moore's pass attempts go for touchdowns.

Ultimately, 41 touchdowns to 3 interceptions.

Last year, Sam Bradford had 48 touchdows and 6 interceptions and people claimed he walked on water. With one game left, Moore is going to get awfully close to the touchdown mark and probably not approach the interceptions.

Which leaves me wondering, am I the only person who watches him play? In a season marked by up-and-down performances by every other contender, Moore has been the most consistently excellent player in the country.

And, oh by the way, he plays for an undefeated team.

Since I'm the only person trumpeting his candidacy, it's got me wondering, why don't I have a vote for the Heisman Trophy?

I'd understand if they only let 50 media people or so vote, but 870 media people vote.

870!

Are you telling me I'm less qualified than 870 other media people who have been given votes? Look at this list. How many of these people have you even heard of?

Some guy named Larry Vetell from FightinGators.net gets to vote?

I wonder who he's voting for.

They have a voter with the first name of Clay but he writes for, wait for it, Hawgs Illustrated.

Seriously, Hawgs Illustrated gets a vote?

The Tulsa World gets five votes?

I'm writing an entire column throwing this list under the bus.

5. Sandra Bullock stars in The Blind Side as you know if you watched any football games this weekend.

Ads are trumpeting The Blind Side as "the performance of Sandra Bullock's career."

Which is such crap.

Miss Congeniality 2 and Speed 2 are getting completely overlooked.

Les Miles6. Should SEC rivals be celebrating Les Miles' ninth win and Georgia's beating of Georgia Tech?

I think so.

And here's why, getting to nine wins and the Capital One bowl probably means that assuming the wheels don't come off next season, Miles is going to be back for another couple of years. But does anyone really think that he can match wits with Nick Saban at Alabama or Bobby Petrino at Arkansas?

Even Houston Nutt at Ole Miss has now beaten him two years in a row. And when Houston Nutt is outclassing you in coaching, you've got issues.

In fact, let's rank the SEC West coaches based on this year, past year's and my always perceptive opinion. Here's my take:

1. Nick Saban
2. Bobby Petrino
3. Houston Nutt
4. Dan Mullen (TBD)
5. Les Miles
6. Gene Chizik (TBD)

Les may end up sixth on my list by the end of next season. No matter what happens he's not climbing into the top three. Yet buoyed by this win, he's probably going to be around a lot longer than he would have with a loss.

So chalk this one up to LSU winning the battle and losing the war.

As for Georgia, I know defensive coordinator Willie Martinez has come under fire, but with the win over Georgia Tech and a potential bid in the Chik-fil-A bowl -- where Georgia should be favored over whichever ACC team they draw -- can he survive another season?

Maybe.

And if he does, every other team in the SEC East is the big winner.

The lesson: sometimes even wins over rivals can cost a program. I should know.

I'd like to give back Tennessee's 2004 win over Ron Zook.

7. Tennessee beats Kentucky for the 25th straight season.

Which, for some reason, puts me in the mind of Hemingway. And here is one of my favorite quotes that I believe is apropos:

"The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially. If you are none of these you can be sure it will kill you too but there will be no special hurry."

It's clear that Kentucky fans are "none of these," because there has been no special hurry in the death of their "rivalry" over the past quarter-century.

But I still think this is the game that broke Kentucky fans. The second straight overtime loss at home. A giftwrapped fumble that was too good to be true at the end of the game. A first-and-goal that ends with the head coach saying he couldn't use their best player on third and goal because he didn't know the two-minute offense.

Condolences, Cat fans.

Especially after Lane Kiffin, now responsible for four percent of the longest consecutive winning streak in college football, urinated in Rich Brooks's commemorative bottle of bourbon. "It's still Tennessee, and it's still Kentucky," Kiffin said after the game.

8. Thesis: The pump fake is the white man's greatest athletic weapon.

This came to me during the Alabama-Auburn game when Chris Todd pumpfaked before hitting Darvin Adams for a 72-yard touchdown.

Think about it, is there any one move that transcends a single sport -- the move works in basketball and football -- than the pump fake?

The answer is no.

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