Les Miles is the most confident man in America. It doesn't matter what situation he faces, Miles believes he will triumph. What's more, he believes that everyone around him will win as well. Little Bighorn? Miles slays the Native Americans and rises to prominence on the Bull Moose ticket. Gettysburg? Miles takes Cemetery Ridge during Miles's Charge and the country remains divided forever (Or it would be one nation with Waffle Houses everywhere). Put Les Miles in charge of any losing proposition in the annals of history and he single-handedly swings the result the other way.
Meet the new college calculus: Les Miles + impossible eventuality = probable eventuality.
I'm going to write on this later this week, but until then, just keep our new equation in mind as we dive into the ClayNation Starting 11.
1. Seriously, is there a luckier man in America than LSU's Les Miles?
Even though we led off the opening with him, he needs to be our first prong of the ClayNation Starting 11.
Last week I said I keep waiting for him to call neither heads nor tails at the pregame coin toss and see the coin land on its side. This week I'm even more convinced this could happen.
Why?
His team scored on a 33-yard touchdown run with under 50 seconds to play. What's more, it was his second consecutive rushing play. It was second-and-five when they scored.
And it's not even like Charles Scott had been gouging Georgia all afternoon. At that point, Scott had 18 carries for 62 yards, an average of 3.4 yards per play. If the average carry happens on that play, the clock is running, and you're facing a third-and-two, still in the neighborhood of 47 yards. What's the third down play then? I can't even fathom the thought process.
Seriously, think about this, have you ever seen a trailing team score with under a minute to play on a running play from this distance?
I thought about this all day Sunday. I'm not sure it's ever happened before. Yet, when I saw it happen for LSU, I wasn't even surprised.
Meet Les Miles.
2. Michigan State beats Michigan for the second year in a row.
Congrats to State, but I'm confused, how will Sports Illustrated use this as evidence that sports are making unemployed Michiganders feel better?
Didn't one Michigan team just beat another one? Where's the happy storyline? I've got no job, my house is underwater and I can't sell it, but at least my team won.
Seriously, this is beyond overplayed.
3. The celebration penalty needs to be reexamined.
Last year we had Jake Locker, this year we had A.J. Green, the best player in college football who is getting no attention from the national media.
Look at the above video sent in by a reader. What does A.J. Green do that deserves the penalty? Yes, he drew attention to himself. By catching a would-be winning touchdown pass with a little over a minute to play. Which is kind of expected, right? After all, when you're playing in front of 90,000 people doesn't playing the game itself qualify as drawing attention to yourself?
Which brings to this, asking old referees to classify "drawing attention to yourself" is one of the dumbest phrases in the rulebook. It's not like A.J. Green hoisted Uga onto his shoulders and made out with a cheerleader while giving the throat slash gesture and simultaneously waving the Georgia flag.
There's too much discretion given to the referees with this rule. Especially when the refs exercise their discretion in this manner.
By the way, without A.J. Green, Georgia is 0-5.
4. Curb Your Enthusiasm is too much of a Sunday treat after college football and the NFL.
The last two episodes have been among the best back-to-back shows in series history. And that's truly saying something. I'm going to confess to being a bit disappointed that this show happens in the fall, though. And Sunday on top of it.
I just wish we could unspool television's limited resources more equitably. Like, say, in the month of June. There is nothing to watch on television for the entire month then.
And don't even get me started on Justin Bobby's new beard. That thing singlehandedly laid Kristin Cavallari.
5. How does Virginia Tech pass Boise State after beating Duke by eight?
Can I throw an early flag for team that the pollsters are rewarding more than any other? Boise State is undefeated. Virginia Tech gives up 359 yards passing to Duke and passes Boise. Right now Virginia Tech is overrated.
Why does this matter? Because it suggests that several pollsters have decided that Boise has hit the non-power conference glass ceiling. Last week they were No. 4, now they've been passed by their first team with a single loss. The precedent has been set in the poll that one-loss teams beneath Boise can jump over them. Does anyone really believe that if Florida loses to LSU, they'll fall beneath Boise? I don't think so. In fact, I think Florida would only fall to No. 4.
Virginia Tech's high ranking is also raising some intriguing poll issues, what if Alabama loses to Ole Miss this weekend in Oxford? Can you really justify Virginia Tech being ranked above Bama given the fact that the two teams just played five weeks ago?
I don't think so.
Thank the BCS for this mess.
6. Arkansas and Bobby Petrino pasted undefeated Texas A&M. Is Mike Sherman back on the hot seat?
I think so. Three early wins had taken him off for the time-being. But this new loss has him right back there. Especially with the upcoming schedule that A&M plays. Does 7-5 keep Sherman safe? Probably. 6-6? Who knows.
With Tommy Tuberville out there lurking, there may not be a safe win total. Yep, Tuberville has become Petrino. I'm halfway expecting for there to be midnight plane rides to meet him.
Travis has become enamored of several objects, phrases or events which he frequenly references in the column. Among the most frequent:
'Bama Bangs - a term coined by Travis to refer to southern men's hairstyles that feature prominent bangs for no apparent reason. Brodie Croyle and John Parker Wilson are oft-cited violators of 'Bama Bangs rules.
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When Clay Travis, acclaimed author of Dixieland Delight, decided to spend the 2008 season up close and personal with UT football, he—and every other college football aficionado—thought he was in for a rollicking ride with one of the leading contenders for the national title. After all, when the Vols kicked off the season on September 1, the defending SEC East champions were ranked 18th in the country. As head coach Phillip Fulmer prepared for the game, he reflected upon a coaching career that included an astounding 147 victories, two SEC championships, and a national title. With 34 years at UT under his belt as both a player and coach, the Tennessee native had just signed a contract extension that projected to keep him at the university long enough to become the winningest coach in program history.
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There is no college ball more passionate and competitive than football in the Southeastern Conference, where seven of the twelve schools boast stadiums bigger than any in the NFL and 6.5 million fans hit the road every year to hoot and holler their teams to victory.
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The newly favored man is not really a man at all, but a hairless, effeminate, germ-fearing, non-meat-eating, exfoliating, wristband-wearing woman of the worst order. We as men are told that we must embrace the sacred feminine in ourselves, even if it doesn't actually exist, and become the very quintessence of woman, plus penises. This situation is untenable. This trend must stop.
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Clay Travis is the only former student manager in the history of college athletics to marry an NFL cheerleader. He managed to pull this off despite an irrational affinity for the television shows Dawson's Creek and My Super Sweet 16. While being raised in Nashville, Tenn., Travis developed a healthy obsession with college sports and Alyssa Milano. As a teenager his greatest accomplishment was taking a doo-rag wearing Luke Duke (balling as Tom Wopat) to the hole at the Nashville YMCA.
In the midst of a stellar legal career during which he specialized in rewarding the unjust and punishing the oppressed, Travis began writing for CBS Sports's SPiN section in September 2005...
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Clay Travis = Best sportswriter ever! Good story today and good book.