Rename the BCS Contest
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Okay, this just went up on FanHouse. I've given four potential renames for the BCS. I want your best other names. Then we vote. Prizes will be forthcoming. Here's the article. Below are my four nominations. In case you've forgotten, the reason for the renaming is because the BCS doesn't exist as a legal entity.
"Last week, we learned that the BCS doesn't exist as a legal entity. Most of us found that shocking. At least those of us who can define the word "entity." (Sorry, Ohio State fans. As much as we all might wish the word involves the female breast, sigh, it doesn't. If it did the drafting of legal documents would be an awfully lot more interesting.)"
My submissions:
1. The Null Set: Ø
In ninth grade geometry, we once had a teacher give a geometry test where null set was the answer for five consecutive questions. You talk about a war of wills, a diabolical form of instruction if there ever was one. Making someone believe that a teacher would design five consecutive questions with the null set as an answer was like being the only boy in a pink shirt one day. Not that I would know anything about that.
Not one single person in the class was willing to pick null set all five times. Later, she cackled at us when she revealed her duplicity. (The next year she left teaching. I like to think she now works in a yearbook factory gluing the back page to the cardboard all day long.)
I'm no mathematical expert, but the final BCS equation that determines who plays for the championship always makes me think of the null set
2. B+S
I like the simplicity of this redesign. It's sleek, modern, and it removes the C that stands for Championship. It also sums up the BCS in a more cogent fashion by commingling it with cow dung.
3. Lorenzo White
True fans of Tecmo Super Bowl will know that Houston Oiler Lorenzo White was the worst starting running back in the game. He was awful. In fact, continuing the analogy, if college football, the greatest sport on earth is the sports' equivalent of Tecmo Super Bowl, the greatest video game ever, then one might even deduce that Lorenzo White, the worst starting running back of the game, was the BCS of Tecmo Super Bowl.
See, it works.
4. CUBA!
The only thing in the western hemisphere less American than the BCS is Cuba. But to Cuba's credit Raul Castro has been faster to modernize during his tenure than the BCS has been.
In terms of the new name, you merely add one letter and an exclamation point. So you don't lose much in terms of shortness. But you gain so much in spelling out how un-American our selection of a college football "champ" actually is.
These are my four, all we're waiting for is your six. Then we'll vote. Even if one of these four wins, whoever comes in highest of the top six wins. And if you beat me outright? Well, the prize will be even more sterling.
Article continues here. Labels: clay travis rename the bcs contest
Posted by Clay Travis at 8:35 PM
 
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