10 Burning Questions For SEC Media Days
Monday, July 20, 2009
Here we go. It's an epic, a few thousand words. Enjoy.
1. Is Tim Tebow a virgin?
I think everyone is afraid to ask, but wouldn't this be the ultimate testament to his religious faith? Even if you accept that your average Florida girl is carrying six-to-eight extra pounds of fat on her arms, how many women would Tebow have turned down carnal relations with over the past three years of college? Fortunately, I know. 3,468,946,253.
Yep, Tebow turned down your Mom!
And my mom.
And if he wasn't a virgin wouldn't this at least prove that Tim Tebow has violated a Bible verse? Something that, to be honest, there is no evidence of thus far. Put it this way, if Tebow got shot and we all thought he was dead, and then he came back to life, wouldn't you be convinced that Revelations was unspooling before your eyes? (And, if so, would you expect the disciples to be wearing jorts?)
2. Will Les Miles prove he's a bona fide long-term fit at LSU, or will this be the season when he demonstrates that a temperament consisting of equal parts insanity and supreme self-confidence doesn't work in the SEC?
Miles went 19-5 in the SEC his first three years with an SEC and national title. But then he went 3-5 last season, equaling the SEC losses that he put up in his first three seasons combined. As if that weren't enough, the LSU defense imploded, allowing over 50 points to Georgia and Florida and going 3-5 in the final eight games of the regular season.
The Tigers rebounded to smoke Georgia Tech in the bowl game, but was that indicative of what's to come or was the preceding eight weeks more representative of what LSU has become? We'll know soon.
Secondary question, how much less fearsome would Les Miles be if he went by his given name, Leslie? Is he even a head coach right now? I mean that honestly. Do you think someone gave him advice on this years ago? The name Leslie standing alone probably disqualifies him from coaching everywhere in the SEC except Vanderbilt.
3. Is the SEC still Southern?
I'm going to write on this later this week, but in an era when non-Southerners like Urban Meyer, Bobby Petrino, Lane Kiffin, Dan Mullen, and Nick Saban (although my editor says West Virginia is like Mississippi in the mountains) are five of the most recent seven hires in the SEC, what percentage of coaches would use the word fixin' or y'all and not sound like they were doing it to fit in? Like politicians who develop accents as soon as they leave Washington.
Everyone but Spurrier is my call.
In the ultimate kick in the groin to Southern regionalism, have we outsourced our coaching to the rest of the country?
4. Does Dan Mullen ever watch Mississippi State practice and think to himself, "Dear Lord, what have I done?"
I know that getting an offer to become a head coach is tough to pass up, but why would you leave Florida before this year? You have the potential to be associated with a three-time national championship winning team, lock down another SEC title, and further burnish your credentials as offensive coordinator by coaching Tebow for another year of offensive explosions.
Or you can take over the only SEC football team with an all-time losing record. And, oh by the way, the last SEC title the team has won? 1941.
Isn't this an easy decision? Or does Mullen worry that he's never going to get a head job because everyone will believe that Tebow's success carried Mullen's offense.
Regardless, I guess it could be worse, Mullen could have been ridiculously successful as a coordinator for 10 years and not gotten a head job because he was black and married a white woman. (See, Strong, Charlie) Labels: claynation 10 questions for sec media days
Posted by Clay Travis at 7:11 PM
 
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Clay:
Palmetto State native Bobby Johnson wants you know that he's fixing to whip y'alls tail unless you acknowledge his Southern roots.