Travis has become enamored of several objects, phrases or events which he frequenly references in the column. Among the most frequent:
'Bama Bangs - a term coined by Travis to refer to southern men's hairstyles that feature prominent bangs for no apparent reason. Brodie Croyle and John Parker Wilson are oft-cited violators of 'Bama Bangs rules.
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When Clay Travis, acclaimed author of Dixieland Delight, decided to spend the 2008 season up close and personal with UT football, he—and every other college football aficionado—thought he was in for a rollicking ride with one of the leading contenders for the national title. After all, when the Vols kicked off the season on September 1, the defending SEC East champions were ranked 18th in the country. As head coach Phillip Fulmer prepared for the game, he reflected upon a coaching career that included an astounding 147 victories, two SEC championships, and a national title. With 34 years at UT under his belt as both a player and coach, the Tennessee native had just signed a contract extension that projected to keep him at the university long enough to become the winningest coach in program history.
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There is no college ball more passionate and competitive than football in the Southeastern Conference, where seven of the twelve schools boast stadiums bigger than any in the NFL and 6.5 million fans hit the road every year to hoot and holler their teams to victory.
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The newly favored man is not really a man at all, but a hairless, effeminate, germ-fearing, non-meat-eating, exfoliating, wristband-wearing woman of the worst order. We as men are told that we must embrace the sacred feminine in ourselves, even if it doesn't actually exist, and become the very quintessence of woman, plus penises. This situation is untenable. This trend must stop.
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Clay Travis is the only former student manager in the history of college athletics to marry an NFL cheerleader. He managed to pull this off despite an irrational affinity for the television shows Dawson's Creek and My Super Sweet 16. While being raised in Nashville, Tenn., Travis developed a healthy obsession with college sports and Alyssa Milano. As a teenager his greatest accomplishment was taking a doo-rag wearing Luke Duke (balling as Tom Wopat) to the hole at the Nashville YMCA.
In the midst of a stellar legal career during which he specialized in rewarding the unjust and punishing the oppressed, Travis began writing for CBS Sports's SPiN section in September 2005...
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Ha! A Tennessee football fan speculating about future NCAA violations at another school.
That's almost as rich as a Kentucky basketball fan complaining about another school cheating.
In all honesty, and I'm not even joking about this, has Tennessee been on serious probation in the past 30 years?
I remember once around 1990 an assistant coach got fired. But I don't think we've ever had a postseason bowl ban or anything like that.
Better question, how does Kentucky have 16 people on scholarship for next season?
As an attorney, you should know a little something about "Burden of Proof." Innuendo and hearsay are niether admissable or are they considered as any manner of burden of proof.
While you are giddy about Calipari's prospects of damaging Kentucky, please consider the recruitment of a convicted rapist and several secondary NCAA violations by the Tennesee staff.
Orlando Cat
As an attorney, hearsay is admissible in tons of circumstances. Appreciate the "burden of proof" tutorial.
you know Clay....it sounds to me like you have enough trouble in your own back yard....I would'nt go stirring up things in ours....
Yeah, no crap. Glasses houses, rocks, etc.
C'mon now, getting caught by the NCAA isn't the only indicator of a dirty program. I don't think they've even bothered to go after USC for paying Reggie Bush yet.
Have we forgotten Linda Bensel-Meyers?
Your jealousy wreaks, Clay. It's OK, though, I'd be bitter too if Bruce Pearl were my coach.
Cheers!
This dude makes fun of other guys' hair when he is one of the ugliest dudes I've seen. That's lame.
Your an Idiot and your beard makes you look like an Elf, Go Elf yourself!
this guy simply has jealousy written all over his comments. i guess it really dosent matter because a total of 5 people probably read his blog anyway and unfortunitly as the 6th person to read it i now am dumber for it. enjoy getting beat by 30 by UK for the next 15 years Travis and tell old Brucy to burn that god awful orange blazer that sweats all over during the games.
you're a douche and a tool. you suck at life. not much else to say.
Anonymous Kentucky fans, eloquent as always.
But on the jealousy front, why would one fan say another fan is jealous? I've never understood this. You're a fan, you choose which team to root for.
How can one fan possibly be jealous of another fan? Now the past four fans could be jealous of me because I can spell, correctly use the word you're, and don't live in Kentucky, that makes sense. But random jealousy of another sports fan?
That truly makes no sense.
Another keyboard tough-guy. I doubt very seriously that you would say anything in your last statement to any Kentucky fans' face. No one said you are jealous of another fan, douche. You are jealous because you are stuck rooting for the Notorious BP. Now, you are stuck with Lane Kiffin and the train wreck that he has brought to Knoxville. Not jealous of fans, jealous of the program. Is that clear enough to you since you deem yourself such a smart individual? It is obvious to me that you have no clue about sports. You should probably stick to the law.
Jealous, jealous, jealous. Ooh, it just eats away at you doesn't it? Knowing that the *real* Kentucky is back- bigger, badder and more pissed than ever. No mercy for any of you suckers next year. You're all going down. The mission next year is not to just beat all of you, but to humiliate you. Payback's a bitch. GO CATS, BABY
So you can be jealous of a program but you can't be jealous of a fan of that program?
Agree or disagree, fans are fans of schools/programs.
Fans choose which program to root for.
Right?
So any fan can choose to be a fan of any program they would like.
That means saying that I'm jealous of the program is the same jealously argument that has already been made. It makes no more sense.
Sincerely,
Keyboard-tough guy (good one)
Also, to be fair, I've never written anything that I wouldn't say out loud. Ever.
fuck you faggot
this guy may be a tool, but he's not an idiot. the more he badmouths UK, the more hit's his lame little blog gets. i'm not gonna lie- i fell for it. first time and the last time.
I'll bet Kentucky's Wall is one hell of a lot better than UT's "GREAT WALL OF VAGINA".
Can't you just smell the envy, and the fear?
c'mon guys, either post your name or don't post. also, the hatred isn't necessary...same with the cussing and questioning of Clay's sexual preference.
Grow up a little.
It's a terrible opinion, considering Calipari has never been accused, indicted, or suspected of any shady activity. But, it's his opinion. I still maintain he's a little bitter, knowing beating UK is going to be that much tougher. UT's little run of being at/near the top of the SEC is over.
Travis, let me put it as simple as possible for you.
Travis states: You cant be jealous of another program because if you were jealous then you could just switch schools to root for, making you a fan of the "better program"
Question from Ryan to Travis: So when you watched UNC win the national title last year, did you once wish that Tennessee could of been that team? When you miss on a recruit and said recruit signs with another school..do you wish it was a Tennessee that he put on?
Travis's reasoning: No because I can just become a fan of all the schools that are better than Tennessee.
Reality: It is possible to be a LOYAL FAN of a program and not jump on every bandwagon that drives by.
You talk about how Tennessee has never been on probation, BUT Kiffin already has more NCAA violations in a matter of weeks than Cal has had in 15 years of college coaching. Good try though hater.
Ryan's argument is a better one, but I don't buy the jealousy angle. To me, in order to be truly jealous of something, the jealousy has to be tangible, a car, a house, a hot girlfriend, a job, money. Anything tangible.
You can't be jealous of a choice, and at its most basic level fandom is a choice. It's intangible.
Arguing that one fan is jealous of another fan is tantamount to saying that Church of Christ adherents are jealous of Baptists. Or that Buddhists are jealous of Christians. Both are choices.
Now we can debate whether changing your fandom willy nilly makes you a "good" fan. I don't think it does, but jealousy is a dumb and lazy argument that people make. I don't buy it in any context associated with fandom.
I should have also added that the tangible object has to be something that you can't otherwise attain.
Also, I don't know where the idea that I'm against Cal joining the SEC got started. Even before he was hired I said he was great for the SEC.
UT won the East last year, played the second or third toughest schedule in the country, advanced to the conference championship game and got...an 8 seed. Miss. State won the tourney and got a 13 seed. That's a complete slap in the face to the conference.
We need the media attention that comes from having good coaches. It's why I've been arguing that the SEC East now has the strongest cadre of coaches of any division in basketball: Pearl, Cal, Donovan, and Stallings are all top notch and proven.
The big point is basketball isn't like football. Losing to a team head-to-head doesn't really matter that much. So the strength of rivals doesn't really hurt you. No matter what multiple teams get a chance to go to the Final Four. It's all about making the tournament. And a league being stronger makes that more likely. Look at the ACC. How many undeserving teams have gotten in over the past decade because Duke and UNC are dominant?
You are now making up your own rules. I disagree, "jealousy" is in fact intangible. An emotion. You most certainly can be "sad" that your program is crap. you can be "Happy" that you made it to the tournament. So why cant you be "jealous" that we have signed the first AND second ranked class in the country. I understand you saying you can not be jealous of our "program" but I argue that You are jealous of its accomplishments.
Clay, a true fan is not a fan by "choice" -- it chooses you. Most of the time it is hard to understand why, but to those of us who are true fans, there is no choice in the matter.
I grew up in an Ohio State family and I went to Ohio State law school, and even though I lived in Louisville for the latter half of my childhood, I was never a fan of Louisville or Ohio State. For some reason, I loved Kentucky and eventually went there for undergrad.
Simply put, inexplicable as it may be, the feeling you get inside when you are a true fan is a feeling derived not by choice. It hurts sometimes, and if we could, we might try to choose not to be a fan. But that is like trying not to love someone because they hurt you. Fandom is not a choice.
And on the topic of jealousy, if you can't be jealous, what is the point? Why be a fan? Why try to win? Is that not what it is all about? I am jealous that UNC won it all this year. I am jealous that Florida won back-to-back. I am jealous that other teams have run cleaner programs. Those are all, in essence, intangible things, yet jealousy attaches all the same. To win is to spawn jealousy, and to lose is to feel jealousy for the winner. That is competition at its core and what drives us all.
In sum, a true fan does not have any "choice" in the matter and, regardless, jealousy exists in sport as much as it exists in every other competitive facet of life, from your neighbor's car to your neighbor's wife. The key is perspective and moderation.
So back to the whole jealousy thing. To be jealous it has to be something that isn't attainable by your definition right?
So you are jealousy of the UK basketball program because UTs is shit. They will never ever ever attain what UK has as far as basketball goes. So yes you are a jealous punk bitch. No I'm not an internet tough guy i will kick your ass in real life just name a time an place.
Please Clay, as soon as you can, come out with your irrational fanbase listings. If there was any question about who was number one, well then, 26 comments about Mr. Clean Calipari's basketball program's future should nail that coffin shut.
BGID
In addition to that last comment, how many UK fans that just posted in this rant, how many of you were alive in 1984? Im betting very few. Does that year mean anything to you? Im also betting very few of you were even pubescent in 1998 to see the last time yall cut down the nets.
Do you think a single SEC program cares the way you do about their program the way you do? I would take 10 years of probation to have one football NC again. This is the GD South, we play football. Go be like your other carpet bagging brethern brothers-in-arms (UNC, Duke and Memphis) and care about basketball.
BGID
I agree with your comment that Kentucky's off-season good fortune only makes the SEC a stronger conference. I personally feel that Coach Cal's hire and subsequent recruiting class will be a big positive for other strong teams in the conference.
What I don't understand completely is how you can praise the positive for the conference, yet long for the downfall of Kentucky's new coach. A circumstance of that nature would definately remove UK from the basketball map and (also in my opinion) hurt the SEC.
Your comments seem to contradict each other.
I understand ill will for the rivals of your favorite team when it comes to the average fan. I would also figure that at least five to ten percent of any fanbase is made of high-strung idiots (as proof, I would submit a couple of the comments made prior to mine). I'm sure this type of individual could make it difficult to remain objective.
If your goal in writing this blog was to upset Kentucky fans in order to get hits...mission accomplished. But if that's the case, maybe you should preface your blog by saying:
"I am a bias blogger and prone to express my opinions laced with ill will when the mood suits me. I may not agree with what you say, but I would at least respect your honesty.
Nate Reese---Atlanta, GA---Kentucky fan
This post has been removed by the author.
Clay,
There is nothing sweeter to the ears of this UK grad, and current Vandy student, than the sound of your UT Big Orange-sucking sour grapes ... keep moaning!
As the younger brother of said Weatherholt I would like to agree with him and also say that this can finally put to bed his constant nagging about how if only we would have kept Tubby. I disagree with you however Clay. What proof or anything do you have that even remotely validates your point on Calipari cheating? I am well aware of the Marcus Camby story, but as far as I know no violations were ever give. Just because Calipari is a great recruit does not mean he cheats to get players. He attracts players because of his dribble drive offense and NBA ready players relate to it. If he was at Memphis then Wall and Cousins would have both gone there, but luckily for me and all Kentucky fans he is here. I do not believe that Calipari does anything that other coacher whether in college basketball or football do to recruit players.
Wahhhhhh!!!!!
The ironic thing is that KIFFIN and UT are going to be the ones getting in trouble while the BIG BLUE are winning titles.
This WREAKS of jealousy and envy.
B I G B L U E E N V Y.
Shawn's post is a good one. Well written, persuasive, but I disagree, we all choose to be fans at some point. We may not be able to explain why we do it, but we do. I suspect it has something to do, for must of us, with making that decision a long time ago. Otherwise how do people become fans?
Destiny? An absence of free will?
I mean truly, what's the other option? We choose to be fans.
I feel like Morpheus in the Matrix.
Give me one other example of something you can be jealous of that isn't tangible.
Now as for Calipari, I don't particularly care whether he goes down or not, but I think he will. That's my opinion. I think he's dirty, and I think a lot of intelligent UK fans agree. Some disagree, time will tell. I'd equate having him helm your program as the equivalent of dating a stripper, yeah the sex is good, but you have to wake up in the morning wondering whether it's going to hurt to pee.
And come on, I don't care about hits on my blog, I do this for fun. I make a good living elsewhere. I don't even know how many people actually visit every day. I do know I've been fortunate to sell tens of thousands of books in the past year and a half to an awful lot of smart and cool people. And I love writing columns in comparison to billing hours.
Hello to the younger Weatherholt. My condolences on your brother's latent love-affair with Tubby.
Merriam-Webster Dictionary results for: jealous
1 a. 1 a intolerant of rivalry or unfaithfulness b. b disposed to suspect rivalry or unfaithfulness
2. 2 hostile toward a rival or one believed to enjoy an advantage
3. 3 vigilant in guarding a possession - new colonies were jealous of their new independence
Is an advantage tangible? Is independence tangible?
You used a job as an example of something you could be jealous of. Is a job tangible?
A job is real, concrete, so yeah, it's tangible.
Fandom isn't. For instance today several Kentucky fans emailed and said they were ashamed to share a rooting interest with several of the intellectual heavyweights above.
As for those definitions, I can't even tell what they're supposed to say. But so far as I can see, they don't offer any counterexamples. Although well played on going to Colonial America.
Basketball is six months away and Bruce Pearl has never finished below Kentucky in four years. I'll rest with that for now.
Someone come up with something funnier than a Gator friend referring to Kiffin as Andy Bernard and I'll take note.
This is the first time that I have read anything that Clay Travis has written and to be honest it'll probably be the last. I am a retired police detective and have worked just about every type of criminal case you can think of. One thing I learned over the years was that when people do something wrong or illegal they usually leave some sort of evidence that eventually leads to their downfall. Calipari has been coaching for years, has been extremely successful as a college coach and has proved himself to be one of the best recruiters in the business. He has been accussed by several of those that end up empty handed when it's all said and done, yet there's no evidence! Nothing to point to and say "there it is" proof that he's cheating. On the other hand, I watched a Uk-TN ball game many years ago as a child that TN won on a last second freethrow. I believe it was the only game "Rups Runts" lost the whole season. They would eventually lose to Texas Western in the finals that year. The thing that sticks in my mind is that TN won the game by calling timeout and then sending the wrong shooter to the line. They sent Ernie Grumfield (I think that was his name, I was 8 when it happened) because he was the best freethrow shooter they had and no one caught it until it was too late. In other words, they CHEATED to win that game. I know about the scandal that took place at UK when Eddie Sutton was coach but that was him ,not the entire program and no one said they cheated another team in an actual game. I've thought of TN as cheaters just about my whole life. They proved it on the court.
Clay... one question for you...
What size shirt do you wear??
I've got a real nice "Witness" t-shirt I'd like to send you!
This dude acts like he is so smart and proper. He claims UK fans email him and apologize for other UK fans. It is easy on a comment section on a low brand blog to puff your chest up and make yourself sound so great. What a joke this dude is. I am not a UK fan but this dude is a tool. He acts like because you do not post a comment on a freaking blog like you would a thesis you are not intelligent. Who cares! You aren't cool because you take your time to spat on a blog coming up with excuses about other programs. You are not any smarter than anyone else on here. God, get a life man. Oh and I post as anonymous because I am not about to set up a google account or open and ID to post oh here but thanks anyway.
Since you're splitting hairs about what's tangible and what isn't, here's another definition from Websters:
"2: capable of being precisely identified or realized by the mind (her grief was tangible)"
How, according to the example, is grief tangible, but fandom isn't? And even if fandom is a choice, can't you be jealous of the choice someone made?
I'll buy that a job is tangible. Therefore, it's possible that you're jealous of the job Calipari is doing so far.
At least your players invade homes after they leave, so you've got that.
And where did finishing ahead of UK get Pearl so far?
Is this really what happens when a mostly tongue-in-cheek blog post gets linked on CatsPause? Wow.
so how severe will the NCAA penalties is the real question here.