Gene Chizik Introduces HImself To the SEC
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Read the column here. Below is an excerpt.
Auburn's new coach Gene Chizik has remained under the radar thus far. Fortunately here at the ClayNation column we became aware that each new coach has to stand up and introduce himself to the other SEC coaches at the annual coaches meeting. Fortunately we were able to capture the entirety of this fabricated introduction. And now we can fabricate it for your enjoyment today. Meet Gene Chizik. Already his introductory speech is being called the Gettysburg Address of Auburn football.
"Hey, y'all my name's Gene Chizik and I'm the new coach at Auburn. Some of y'all remember me, some of y'all won't. I'm just a regular ole guy likes fishing and eating Twinkies with the wrappers still on. I'm from Florida, and Auburn's always been my dream job. Except for Florida, I've always liked Florida better than Auburn since I went to college there, but they already had a coach. Really, I'm gonna be honest, I didn't care where the hell I ended up so long as it wasn't in Ames, Iowa. Ames, Iowa is about the worst place in the world. The sun never shines and it snows in July. I guess y'all know how successful I was there. Pretty big-time. I won five games."
Chizik extends a finger as he counts, "One, two, three, four, five. Five big ones."
Some people down at Auburn say, well, 'Five ain't that impressive, Gene, didn't you lose 19?' And I say to them, 'I say, hey ole boy, I ain't here to talk about the past. This here is about the future.'" For instance, I say to them, 'You want big numbers? How 'bout 60, 62, and 76, them's big numbers.' That's where Rivals ranked my recruiting classes at Iowa State. Labels: gene chizik introduces himself to the sec auburn gettysburg address
Posted by Clay Travis at 4:39 PM
 
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Thanks for reminding everyone about the embarrassment that is Auburn football. Geez. Definitely not looking forward to the next 3-4 years on the plains.
That embarrasment that is Auburn football?
How about two other SEC coaches telling Turner Gill, straight up, that he would never get the Auburn job because he's black and is married to a white woman.