Bag of Mail

Rough Draft Part Two: Killing Alligators For Fun


 
Posted by Picasa


Kurt Hester is the greatest NFL Combine trainer on earth. He's also the most entertaining. In this section of Rough Draft, we meet him. Read it here.

Raised in the Cajun back country, Hester is an adrenaline junkie who enjoys hunting wild hogs and alligators. In particular he likes to kill animals when they have a chance to kill him as well. Now, our conversation shifts from training for the NFL Combine to hunting. "Do you kill the hogs with guns?"

Kurt Hester looks at me sideways, shakes his head vigorously, as if I've just offered him a peppermint martini. "Naw, I don't kill hogs with guns. That ain't hunting. Guys go out in the woods and sit around all day and then shoot something from 400 yards away. Shit. We use dogs to corner the hogs, and then wait until the right moment and run up beside the hog and stab it in the throat with a knife. You've got to watch the tusks or they'll kill you. I like it because it's dangerous."

Similarly, Hester goes alligator hunting in the swamps with a knife, a small boat, and some rope. "I see an alligator and I just jump out of the boat on top of him and hold him down. Wrap that son of a bitch up. Because, you see, alligators can't really get you once you've clamped down their jaws. Well, they can get you with their tails, but that's why you lay on top of them."

Occasionally, to get a high school team fired up when they're training in his Louisiana gym, Hester releases wild alligators he's caught in the swamps in the weight room. He's put camouflage tape around the alligator's mouth, but the kids don't know this and go wild thinking the thrashing gator is about to attack them. After he's gotten them fired up, Hester sprints across the weight room, pulls out a knife, and stabs the gator in the head with a large hunting knife. He did this before a Louisiana high school football game recently, his team was playing a team nicknamed the Gators, and the team he trains won by four touchdowns. When I tell Eastern Michigan defensive end Jason Jones this story in the locker room a few minutes later, Jones nods, "That's a good idea," he says.

Labels:

Posted by Clay Travis at 2:33 PM

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home


 
Previous Posts

 
Travis has become enamored of several objects, phrases or events which he frequenly references in the column. Among the most frequent:
 
'Bama Bangs - a term coined by Travis to refer to southern men's hairstyles that feature prominent bangs for no apparent reason. Brodie Croyle and John Parker Wilson are oft-cited violators of 'Bama Bangs rules.
Read More...
 
On Rocky Top When Clay Travis, acclaimed author of Dixieland Delight, decided to spend the 2008 season up close and personal with UT football, he—and every other college football aficionado—thought he was in for a rollicking ride with one of the leading contenders for the national title. After all, when the Vols kicked off the season on September 1, the defending SEC East champions were ranked 18th in the country. As head coach Phillip Fulmer prepared for the game, he reflected upon a coaching career that included an astounding 147 victories, two SEC championships, and a national title. With 34 years at UT under his belt as both a player and coach, the Tennessee native had just signed a contract extension that projected to keep him at the university long enough to become the winningest coach in program history.
Read More...
 
Dixieland Delight There is no college ball more passionate and competitive than football in the Southeastern Conference, where seven of the twelve schools boast stadiums bigger than any in the NFL and 6.5 million fans hit the road every year to hoot and holler their teams to victory.
Read More...
 
Man Book The newly favored man is not really a man at all, but a hairless, effeminate, germ-fearing, non-meat-eating, exfoliating, wristband-wearing woman of the worst order. We as men are told that we must embrace the sacred feminine in ourselves, even if it doesn't actually exist, and become the very quintessence of woman, plus penises. This situation is untenable. This trend must stop.
Read More...
 
Vanderbuilt Law Clay Travis is the only former student manager in the history of college athletics to marry an NFL cheerleader. He managed to pull this off despite an irrational affinity for the television shows Dawson's Creek and My Super Sweet 16. While being raised in Nashville, Tenn., Travis developed a healthy obsession with college sports and Alyssa Milano. As a teenager his greatest accomplishment was taking a doo-rag wearing Luke Duke (balling as Tom Wopat) to the hole at the Nashville YMCA. In the midst of a stellar legal career during which he specialized in rewarding the unjust and punishing the oppressed, Travis began writing for CBS Sports's SPiN section in September 2005...
Read More...
 
 
© Copyright Clay Travis 2009, All Rights Reserved.