Rod Blagojevich's Hair? 'Bama Bangs?
Friday, December 19, 2008
Matt writes:
Clay,
I was surprised to see, as of yet, no mention on your blog of the bama bangs that have recently rocketed to national infamy. I am, of course, referring to the hair stylings of used-senate-seat-salesman Rod Blagojevich. Now that bama bangs might be associated with a corrupt, moronic douchebag like the Illinois Governor, and given the universal derision his hair has received, do you think this might go down as the high water mark for bama bangs? It has to have a lasting affect right? I guess the real question is will it be the Antietam, Vicksburg or Gettysburg of the bangs war?
The fact that the people of Illinois elected a man who has hair like this to be Governor should go down as one of the more shameful decisions of modern democracy. Right up there with Robert Mugabe's recent "re-election" in Zimbabwe. Several things, first, I think these are, in fact, 'Bama Bangs. When they've spread to Illinois Democrats from Serbia you know they're truly everywhere. Am I the only person who pictures a Blagojevich prenuptial agreement including a clause that his wife isn't allowed to touch his hair during sex?
On to the more important questions, how could you remotely trust someone who decides to wear his hair like this? When my wife first heard of this scandal she walked in while I was watching CNN, looked at the television, and then said, "I don't know why people are surprised he was trying to sell a Senate seat. Look at his hair." This sentence makes complete sense.
I'm inclined to call his hairstyle 'Bama Bangs unless someone can provide evidence for why they aren't. They seem to fit all the criteria. After all, there's got to be some reason why Blagojevich is the most popular governor in the state of Alabama.
As an aside, what percentage of this story's airplay increases because reporters like to say Blagojevich? Everyone has a friend who is impressed at their ability to pronounce difficult last names. In my experience all of those friends grow up to be television reports. Anyway, it's gotta be 15 or 20%. Labels: rod blagojevich bama bangs
Posted by Clay Travis at 9:17 AM
 
Permalink
Digg this Post
Email this Post
2 Comments:
<< Home
Previous Posts
| |
Travis has become enamored of several objects, phrases or events which he frequenly references in the column. Among the most frequent:
'Bama Bangs - a term coined by Travis to refer to southern men's hairstyles that feature prominent bangs for no apparent reason. Brodie Croyle and John Parker Wilson are oft-cited violators of 'Bama Bangs rules.
Read More...
When Clay Travis, acclaimed author of Dixieland Delight, decided to spend the 2008 season up close and personal with UT football, he—and every other college football aficionado—thought he was in for a rollicking ride with one of the leading contenders for the national title. After all, when the Vols kicked off the season on September 1, the defending SEC East champions were ranked 18th in the country. As head coach Phillip Fulmer prepared for the game, he reflected upon a coaching career that included an astounding 147 victories, two SEC championships, and a national title. With 34 years at UT under his belt as both a player and coach, the Tennessee native had just signed a contract extension that projected to keep him at the university long enough to become the winningest coach in program history.
Read More...
There is no college ball more passionate and competitive than football in the Southeastern Conference, where seven of the twelve schools boast stadiums bigger than any in the NFL and 6.5 million fans hit the road every year to hoot and holler their teams to victory.
Read More...
The newly favored man is not really a man at all, but a hairless, effeminate, germ-fearing, non-meat-eating, exfoliating, wristband-wearing woman of the worst order. We as men are told that we must embrace the sacred feminine in ourselves, even if it doesn't actually exist, and become the very quintessence of woman, plus penises. This situation is untenable. This trend must stop.
Read More...
Clay Travis is the only former student manager in the history of college athletics to marry an NFL cheerleader. He managed to pull this off despite an irrational affinity for the television shows Dawson's Creek and My Super Sweet 16. While being raised in Nashville, Tenn., Travis developed a healthy obsession with college sports and Alyssa Milano. As a teenager his greatest accomplishment was taking a doo-rag wearing Luke Duke (balling as Tom Wopat) to the hole at the Nashville YMCA.
In the midst of a stellar legal career during which he specialized in rewarding the unjust and punishing the oppressed, Travis began writing for CBS Sports's SPiN section in September 2005...
Read More...
|
Well, this makes my team name choice of Blagoevich's Bama Bangs look a little less original now...
Also, I think this would be the Pickett's Charge of Bama Bangs--a futile headlong assault at the pinnacle of a guarded position. That, somehow, someway, you knew was going to result in disaster.