Bag of Mail

Introducing The First ClayNation Apostrophe Ranking (CAR) Voters



My apologies for being late on this. You'll recall that a short while ago I put out a call for voters. I've gotten quite a few responses from people requesting voting privileges. There will be 10 of us. I went ahead and awarded the reader who suggested the poll, Joshua, a vote. Plus, Gordon Fletcher got a spot in the rankings based on his apostrophe research of late. Tardio has since asked for and received a vote. (Sometimes proximity is its own reward). Plus me. So we had 4 of our initial 10 spots taken. Now we bring you two more of our winning candidates. Just four more remain. Do you have what it takes? Email me and find out. Until then meet your two newest members. (Apologies for not mentioning this again since the last email posting. And for taking so long to respond.)

This is meet your voters week. Up first, Patrick Neuner, who sent the following email to gain voting rights:

Clay -

I would like to take part in the voting for the ClayNation Apostrophe Ranking Poll. As a loyal reader and apostrophized name enthusiast, I feel I would make an ideal candidate. While I did dig up the sleeper of the 2009 recruiting class, Bar'kevious Mingo, I would remain an objective voter, and I am fully willing to admit that Ja'Larry Bird is much better name than that of my boy, Bar'k. Also, before every Thursday night ESPN game, I scour the rosters of both teams looking for unusual names (apostrophized or otherwise), and I pick the winner of the game based on whichever team contains more unique names. As a result, I feel very well-versed in the art of finding people with unusual names and ranking them based on how unique/clever/badass those names are.

In addition, I am in the midst of applying to law school, and, given my underwhelming LSAT score, I feel that if I were to include my participation with ClayNation on my apps., many admissions committees would be willing to grant me acceptance, or at least not reject me as quickly.

Finally, I feel like Mitch Martin's coworker in Old School when he's trying to convince Mitch to let him in the fraternity. He sums up my position pretty nicely: "I need this, ok? My wife, my job, my kids, everyday is exactly the same. Oh, I go golfing on Sundays, but I hate golf. Don't blackball me, Mitch, please." (Note: I don't have a wife or kids, but you get the idea.)


Next to advance to illustrious poll voting standing was Tom Felice:

C'lay,

I fully believe I bring it all to the table when it comes to being an apostrophe judge. Being a college student in NYC, I bring a different point of view than a lot of your readers. I read DDT, even when a few pages fell out. I always bring up La-a when my friends discuss crazy names. I have previously sent you material, and you have even used some of it. I hope to be able to guide the readership towards the best apostrophe.

Yours in Beard,
T'om


Are you next? You need to be. Remember than a name divided against itself cannot stand (without the apostrophe). I'm thinking we need women (fingers crossed for Elin Grindemyr) and an Asian to make sure our rankings are fully accurate. Women because they have a greater facility with the English language and Asian people because they spell so well.

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Posted by Clay Travis at 1:39 PM

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