An Update on Nick Stephens and Sunburning
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Hope your Thursday is going great. Mine is superb. I just got back from the Y to find four police cars, an amublance, and a fire truck parked outside my house. Seems my dad arrived to help with Fox, the alarm was on, and he couldn't remember how to turn it off.
Then, mere moments, after they left. People showed back up because my dad also didn't know the safety code word. Anyway, the only purpose my alarm has served so far, thankfully, is to accidentally go off at inopportune hours.
Which, in a clever and consistent segue, brings us to an update on the UT quarterback debate. Not can Nick Stephens read defenses, withstand the blitz, or hand in the pocket before taking off but, most importantly of all, can he bear the brunt of the sun's rays. Namely, as a red-headed quarterback, can he avoid sunburn injury. (By the way, my co-host on the ClayNation radio show, Chad Withrow, reports that Major Applewhite was a redheaded quarterback who was successful so we have that to rely on.)
Anyway, from deep inside the UT program comes the answer to our mailbag ruminations from yesterday about Nick Stephens and sunburns. If you missed those ruminations here's a pertinent extract. You could just scroll down but I know y'all are lazy.
All of this doesn't even include what happens if we end up with a red-headed quarterback in Nick Stephens. Has there ever been a successful red-headed quarterback? Will he sunburn easily? Are we lucky this is a night game to protect his epidermis? Is Coach Fulmer going to have to update his injury report each week with the status of Nick Stephen's sunburns? "We're working like heck to get better but Nick has a sunburn that makes it hurt to put pads on." For the rest of the season, assuming the world doesn't end, we're going to have to root for cloudy skies or cool weather. Which is unfortunate because you know we're going to be on JP/LF/Raycom a ton now that we're so bad.
Here's the rapid-fire answer.
Eric writes:
Ok, true story…after the UAB game (a day game) Nick’s face was sunburned a little…he wore eye black stickers…so no sunburn there. He looked like Nelly with two white patches under his eyes…looked great.
I can vouch 100% for the accuracy of this report. So now all we need to do is cover Nick Stephens completely in eye black stickers and he'll be fine. He'll look like Ryan Perrilloux of course, but he'll be fine as long as we keep him away from the riverboat casinos.
Looking ahead to the schedule Georgia a 3:30 eastern CBS kickoff (Florida-LSU is the night game on CBS as a doubleheader). So can Alex withstand the Georgia sunshine?
Also, more ominously, is it just me or does Stephens look like Ron Weasley from the Harry Potter books and movies? That's why I've included the above picture. The broken wand symbolizes UT's broken offense, not Stephens' impotence. We've gone from Ricky Vaughn to Ron Weasley in one week.
I'm thinking we should just decide our next quarterback by insisting that all of them grow a beard. The one most capable of becoming BGID gets the job. Deal?Labels: alex stephens sunburn redheaded quarterback eyeblack
Posted by Clay Travis at 10:55 AM
 
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