Tuesday Mailbag and radio show
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Want to avoid the opening of the debates. Unsure how to spend your time? Listen to ClayNation radio (now two hours long every Tuesday night from 7-9 central) on 104.5. Click here to listen live. As always feel free to give us a call at 615-737-1045. Tonight we're asking which coach you'd most trust in a Presidential debate and whether Bobby Johson is the son of God. Among other great topics. On to All That and a Bag of Mail:
Steven Hinson writes:
Clay,
I saw in the comments on your Deadspin article where you wanted to know the spread of the '97 Texas - UCLA game. Texas was a 10 point favorite. I believe it will be hard to find a game with more than a 73 point turnaround off the spread.
One of the many reasons I find college football so fascinating is for the ridiculous swings between the point spread and the actual outcome. Last week we had a 45 point swing when UVa beat Maryland 31-0 and Maryland was a 14 point favorite. Thanks to Steven we have a 73 point spread differential. Can anyone beat this or is this the greatest dichotomy between predicted outcome and actual result?
If so, we need to start giving an award for this discrepancy. Each year and in each sport we can give it. And by each sport I mean college football, college basketball, and the NFL. I still have no idea how to gamble on baseball or hockey and don't care enough about the NBA. Anyway, what should we call this award? Send in your nominations. I'm thinking of calling it the Brian Austin Green (B.A.G.) by virtue of BAG taking down Tennessee native Megan Fox. That's as huge of a swing between men and women as I've seen lately. Especially given BAG's prior dating history. But I'm open to other naming suggestions.
Hunter writes:
Clay, I bet you never thought you'd wish Sarah Jessica John Parker Wilson was your QB.
I would wear panties for the rest of the football season if JPW would grace us with his presence. Seriously, panties. Maybe even thongs. If we had JPW, we'd be 4-1 right now. Does anyone dispute this? This is JPW's ultimate revenge for me making fun of his hair. In the game at Knoxville, he's going to score, take off his helmet, and do the upside down ClayNation hand sign while pulling down his Bangs even further over his eyes than they already are.
And I'm going to be crying on the UT sideline begging for him to come be our quarterback. Yep, I'm the jilted lover.
Benton writes:
Hi Clay,
I noticed you've posted the infamous Theta Topless Pic in your mailbag. One of my pledge brothers from Vandy is marrying one of them--front row, fourth from left--early next year. My question is this--am I obligated to slip this picture into the slide show at rehearsal dinner or should I just mention it in my toast?
First of all, here's the picture linked again so you sick bastards can see exactly whose wedding is about to be ruined. Second, good get by your fraternity brother. Those are really nice...pajamas. (I'm quietly thanking God that my own sister was in a different Vandy sorority.)
On to the wedding questions, slipping this picture in would be incredibly bold. Because I'm guessing that a decent percentage of the wedding party would also be featured in the photo. It would definitely bring down the wedding house, but there's a high risk. I'd only say do this if you can pull it off anonymously and don't have to accept any blame when the picture drops. Then it's hysterical and you can play dumb. "What, there's a topless sorority picture out there? So crazy. Wow."
Pulling off option one would also be a good test for America's nipple obsession. Namely, it's not nudity unless you see the nipple. I've completely bought into this. Haven't you? Since I was 9 years old I've been trying to catch artfully disguised nipples in movies and pictures. It doesn't matter what other parts of the boob I can see, it's not a bare breast unless the nipple is visible. So, on that theory, these pictures shouldn't be that controversial. But, in reality, would they be?
If you have friends who were Thetas at Vandy, they'll defend to the death the idea that these pictures aren't that big of a deal. Which means it's just a coincidence that every man between the ages of 17 and 35 with any connection whatsoever to Vandy has had this picture emailed to him. Right, coincidental. So how would the average southern dad respond to this? He'd be fine with it because his daughter's nipple isn't fully revealed, right?
Yeah, thought so.
Now, your second option is even more bold--the public nudity picture mention in a toast--when it's only you to bear the brunt of the outrage. That could end very badly for you. So let me make a suggestion.
Blow up this picture to an even greater degree and find those pajamas she's wearing. Then get a recent photo of her face, blow it up and print it off in full-color. Wear the pajamas, cut out eyeholes on the photo, and go as your buddy's fiancee for Halloween. Get those same stickers and cover your nipples. Occasionally flash people. Oh, and of course you have to wear the boots too.
If she doesn't think this is funny then your buddy shouldn't be marrying her. But it will spare the wedding implosion. You'll thank me later. Great question. Labels: topless photos at weddings john parker wilson ucla texas
Posted by Clay Travis at 12:15 PM
 
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