Bag of Mail

Most Emasculating Halloween Duo?



How about the fearsome lion and his hunter? Seriously, if you see a guy wearing this thing, just walk up and punch him in the face. Then kick him in the head until merciful darkness arrives.

He'll call you from the hospital and thank you later. Trust me.

Still don't believe me? Read the product review from a mom.

"The Macho Lion costume fit well on 5" 11" dad. It's nicely realistic looking with the puffed-out feet, paws & chest and the nice hood, esp. since dad has a short beard, too. It was about as warm as you would expect. The velour-like fabric was kind of shedding quite a bit new out of the package, but I would guess it will be better after it's washed. It will be good for Wizard of Oz and Lion King themes. --Mom"

The fact that this wife made her bearded husband wear this costume is honestly too much for me to bear. No man has ever been BGID in this costume. In fact, while her husband may be 5'11, his balls have been gone since marriage. Otherwise he would have rejected this costume from the get-go.

Labels:

Posted by Clay Travis at 1:35 PM

2 Comments:

Blogger cazador18 said...

I bet mom only lets 5'11" dad have sex in the missionary position. Just a hunch. A disgusting hunch, but probably accurate.

October 27, 2008 5:49 PM  
Blogger Clay Travis said...

I fear that's completely and utterly correct.

Except for the one week when she heard that getting pregnant was easier in reverse cowgirl. A play that dad attempted via an ex-girlfriend who is now friends with the wife. (Note: wife has no idea that he used to date the other girl.)

October 27, 2008 6:50 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home


 
Previous Posts

 
Travis has become enamored of several objects, phrases or events which he frequenly references in the column. Among the most frequent:
 
'Bama Bangs - a term coined by Travis to refer to southern men's hairstyles that feature prominent bangs for no apparent reason. Brodie Croyle and John Parker Wilson are oft-cited violators of 'Bama Bangs rules.
Read More...
 
On Rocky Top When Clay Travis, acclaimed author of Dixieland Delight, decided to spend the 2008 season up close and personal with UT football, he—and every other college football aficionado—thought he was in for a rollicking ride with one of the leading contenders for the national title. After all, when the Vols kicked off the season on September 1, the defending SEC East champions were ranked 18th in the country. As head coach Phillip Fulmer prepared for the game, he reflected upon a coaching career that included an astounding 147 victories, two SEC championships, and a national title. With 34 years at UT under his belt as both a player and coach, the Tennessee native had just signed a contract extension that projected to keep him at the university long enough to become the winningest coach in program history.
Read More...
 
Dixieland Delight There is no college ball more passionate and competitive than football in the Southeastern Conference, where seven of the twelve schools boast stadiums bigger than any in the NFL and 6.5 million fans hit the road every year to hoot and holler their teams to victory.
Read More...
 
Man Book The newly favored man is not really a man at all, but a hairless, effeminate, germ-fearing, non-meat-eating, exfoliating, wristband-wearing woman of the worst order. We as men are told that we must embrace the sacred feminine in ourselves, even if it doesn't actually exist, and become the very quintessence of woman, plus penises. This situation is untenable. This trend must stop.
Read More...
 
Vanderbuilt Law Clay Travis is the only former student manager in the history of college athletics to marry an NFL cheerleader. He managed to pull this off despite an irrational affinity for the television shows Dawson's Creek and My Super Sweet 16. While being raised in Nashville, Tenn., Travis developed a healthy obsession with college sports and Alyssa Milano. As a teenager his greatest accomplishment was taking a doo-rag wearing Luke Duke (balling as Tom Wopat) to the hole at the Nashville YMCA. In the midst of a stellar legal career during which he specialized in rewarding the unjust and punishing the oppressed, Travis began writing for CBS Sports's SPiN section in September 2005...
Read More...
 
 
© Copyright Clay Travis 2009, All Rights Reserved.