Acquarium Fish Swims Into Boy's Penis
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Just when you thought it was only toothpick fish you had to worry about swimming into your penis while you urinate, well, think again. Courtesy of reader Matthew P. comes the following sad story. Matthew adds, "Toothpick fish mentality now invading our homes!!! In case you have a fish tank, I thought you would want to know about this. They seem to be lurking in our homes now."
The patient was admitted to hospital with complaints of pain, dribbling urine and acute urinary retention spanning a 24-hour period. According to the boy, the fish slipped into his penis while he was cleaning his aquarium at home.
Professor Vezhaventhan and Professor Jeyaraman, who treated the boy and later wrote a paper on the case, explained: "While he was cleaning the fish tank in his house, he was holding a fish in his hand and went to the toilet for passing urine. When he was passing urine, the fish slipped from his hand and entered his urethra and then he developed all these symptoms."
Can you imagine being a 14 year old boy and having to admit that there was a fish inside your penis? Also, I don't buy the explanation given here. Let's say you do decide to go to the bathroom while holding a fish, how does the fish slip out of your hand and end up inside your penis? The doctors completely gloss over this as if it's completely understandable how this happens: "...the fish slipped from his hand and entered his urethra..."
Fact: A fish is bigger than a peehole. Hypothesis: Things that are bigger than other things don't fall inside smaller things. There's no physics that would allow this to happen. Explanatory Theory: Unless, that is, people in India pee while holding their penis facing upwards in an effort to make a nice pee rainbow. Otherwise, the penis head is facing down.
There's only one other possibility. This Indian boy's penis has a capture-mode like in the old Galaga video game. Remember when you'd intentionally slide inside the capture rings so you could get two fighters at the same time and absolutely destroy the bonus rounds? If the Indian boy's penis can do this he might have sucked the fish out of the air and brought it into the urethra. Otherwise, we've got some weird sexual play going on here. I'm betting on the latter.
Your hypotheses and theories, as always, are welcome.Labels: acquarium fish in penis galaga
Posted by Clay Travis at 12:38 PM
 
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