Monday, lovely Monday of Florida-UT week
Monday, September 15, 2008
It's Florida week. This means I'm almost incapable of conversations lasting more than five minutes. I'm constantly running game scenerios through my mind. If I got paid by hypothetical play or hypothetical emotional thought, I'd be a billionaire. I keep imagining how I'll feel if UT wins and I keep trying to decide which Tennessee River bridge I'll jump off it Tennessee loses. Already this week, I've done the following while thinking about the game:
1. Parked, gotten out of the car, and left the engine running for no reason. With th keys locked inside. Thank God for keyless entry.
2. Taken a break from feeding Fox to burp him and then, ten minutes later, realized I'm just sitting there staring off at the wall and Fox hasn't been burped. Meanwhile Fox has not moved either. I think he's also nervous about the big game.
3. During a workout tonight with my friend Tardio, I admitted having no idea it was Monday or who was playing in the Monday Night Football game. This is despite writing for a sports blog and having spent all day focusing on the world of sports. And by focusing on sports, I mean looking at porn.
4. Found myself doing the over/under on Verne chortles since Verne chortles seems to often be connected to Tim Tebow. If Verne chortles more than four times, Tennessee is going to lose. Guaranteed. Less than three we win. Three's a push.
5. Checked the ten day weather forecast on my BlackBerry eight times. I want it to rain. Great sheets of rain that will make the field resemble those old time Roman naval battles.
6. Long contemplative self-analysis on this question. Could Tim Tebow be the anti-christ? Column on this forthcoming. The early read is...yes.
7. Seen Desean Jackson drop the ball before scoring a touchdown, heard Mike Tirico call him cocky, had a flashback to his punt return against Tennesee, thought of Brandon James, and spent the next fifteen minutes silently shaking with feverish chills.
Yeah, it's Florida week. With the book added to the typical stress of this week, I'm not sure I'm going to survive. Not sure at all.
Here's my take on college football week 2 from Deadspin. More on UT-Florida as the week progresses.
I've never been more sure of anything than that Jimmy Clausen is Draco Malfoy. Labels: Florida week Tim Tebow signs
Posted by Clay Travis at 9:28 PM
 
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